Its okay if you are not sure where to start. This free 15 minute consultation is just a gentle conversation to help point you in the right direction.
Are you trying to build a relationship structure that actually fits you, not just the one you were handed?
Most of us grow up with exactly one script for what a relationship is supposed to look like. Non-monogamy means writing your own instead. That’s not something you have to figure out by trial and error alone, or explain from scratch before the real conversation can start. We look at what’s actually working, what isn’t, and what you and your partner or partners actually want this to look like, not what it’s supposed to look like on paper.
Is loving more than one person starting to feel complicated in ways you didn’t expect?
Polyamory sounds simple in theory. However, it can get complicated fast in practice, scheduling, jealousy, hierarchy, how much to share and with whom. None of that means something’s wrong. It usually just means the structure needs more intention than it’s currently getting, and we work through the actual logistics and emotions together, not a textbook version of polyamory that doesn’t match your real life.
Do you need a therapist who won’t flinch, judge, or ask you to explain kink from scratch?
Plenty of clients arrive here having already had one bad experience with a therapist who either treated kink as a symptom or needed a full education before they could help. That’s not where we start. Kink-aware support means the conversation about power, consent, or a dynamic that matters to you can happen without a detour into justifying it first.
What happens when one of you wants monogamy and the other doesn’t?
This is one of the most common places couples get stuck, and it’s rarely actually about who’s right. Usually each partner is looking for something different out of the same conversation, one wants to feel safe, the other wants to feel like they’re making progress, and that mismatch is what turns into the fight. Nobody has to be wrong for this to make sense. The work is figuring out what each of you actually needs underneath the disagreement, and building from there.
Is it too late, or too soon, to start talking about opening your relationship?
Neither. There’s no required amount of certainty before this conversation is allowed to happen. Some clients arrive having already decided and just need help doing it safely, others are only starting to wonder if it’s even something they want. Both are a completely normal place to start.
Are the rules of your relationship clear to both of you, or just assumed?
Most conflict in open relationships doesn’t come from anything that actually happened. It comes from two different assumptions about what was agreed to in the first place. The unspoken parts get named here, specifically and out loud, before they turn into resentment or a fight neither of you saw coming.
Is there more than one relationship in the room, and does your therapist know how to hold all of them at once?
Three or more partners means three or more sets of needs, histories, and communication styles, and a lot of therapists simply aren’t set up for that. I am. Every partner gets heard in session, not just the two people who happened to book the appointment, and the work accounts for the whole structure instead of treating one relationship as the main one and the rest as an afterthought.
Do you get tired of needing to explain who you are before a therapist can even help you?
That explanation isn’t necessary here. This practice grew directly out of years working with queer clients and couples, and affirming care isn’t a box that gets checked, it’s the starting point for every session. You don’t have to teach me who you are before we can get to what’s actually going on.
Do your conversations turn into arguments before you even get to the point?
It’s usually not a communication problem in the way most people think of it. It’s often two people trying to have completely different conversations at the same time without realizing it. We slow that down, figure out what each of you is actually trying to say, and build a better way of talking to each other. One that holds up outside of our session, not just in the room.
Have you and your partner ever agreed to something out loud and then quietly broken it?
It happens more than people admit, usually because the agreement was made in a moment of good intentions rather than realistic planning. Real agreements have to be specific enough to actually hold when things get hard, not just sound good when things are calm. We build boundaries and consent based agreements that fit your actual relationship, not a general template.
Do you know what your boundary is, but still can’t hold it once the moment arrives?
Knowing your boundary and holding it under pressure are two completely different skills, and most people were never taught the second one. That’s not a character flaw, it’s just something nobody walked you through. We work on both, so the boundary you’ve already figured out in your head actually makes it into the conversation.
Does jealousy show up and take over before you’ve even figured out what it’s telling you?
Jealousy gets treated like a problem to eliminate, when it’s usually a signal worth listening to first. Underneath it, there’s almost always something specific: a fear, an unmet need, an old pattern, that’s worth understanding before trying to make the feeling disappear. Getting curious about it tends to work a lot better than trying to white-knuckle through it.
Is trust something you’re trying to rebuild from an actual breach, not just a bad week?
Rebuilding trust after something real happened takes more than an apology and moving on. It takes a rebuilt structure, clearer agreements, more consistent follow through, and enough time to actually test whether the new version holds. That’s slower than either of you probably wants it to be, but it’s how trust actually comes back instead of just getting talked about.
Does the balance of power in your relationship feel uneven, even if no one’s said it out loud?
Power dynamics show up in almost every relationship, who initiates, who compromises more often, who gets deferred to. They’re not automatically a problem. They become one when they go unnamed and unexamined. Naming it out loud is the first step to actually working with it, instead of quietly working around it for years.
Are you starting to question a part of your identity you’ve never said out loud?
That kind of questioning can feel disorienting, especially if you’ve spent years being certain about who you are. You don’t need to have it figured out before you bring it into the room. You can say it here first, half-formed, uncertain, even if you’re not ready to say it anywhere else yet.
Are you in the middle of a shift you didn’t fully choose and don’t know how to name yet?
Transitions rarely arrive cleanly: a label attached, a relationship ending, a structure changing, a role shifting. Sometimes, it’s all happening at once, and none of it fits neatly into a sentence yet. You don’t need the name for it before we start. You just need somewhere to bring the confusion so it stops living entirely in your own head.
Is there a moment that broke something between you two, and it hasn’t fully healed since?
Plenty of couples try to move past a moment like that by simply not talking about it anymore. It tends to keep showing up anyway, just sideways, in arguments that seem to be about something else entirely. Going back to that moment on purpose, carefully, is usually how it finally stops running the relationship from the background.
Does everything feel like too much lately, even the parts that used to feel manageable?
Overwhelm has a way of making even small decisions feel enormous, and it rarely responds well to being told to just calm down. We build tools you can actually use it’s happening, not just insight that sounds good after the fact, so the next time it shows up you have somewhere to go with it.
Do you brace for judgment before you’ve even said what’s actually going on?
Sometimes, clients rehearse how they’re going to explain themselves before they’ve even booked the consultation, bracing for a reaction that never comes. There’s none of that here. That’s not a promise meant to sound reassuring, it’s the actual premise this entire practice is built upon.
Have you become the one holding the relationship together while it goes unnoticed?
Emotional labor is easy to carry for a long time before anyone, including yourself, actually names it as work. Remembering everyone’s needs, managing everyone’s feelings, keeping the peace, it adds up, quietly, until it doesn’t anymore. That labor becomes visible here, and so does the conversation about what a fairer balance could actually look like.
If you are new and not sure where to begin, start with a consultation. If you are ready to move forward, you can book a session directly.
Questions before booking? You can reach out here.
Returning clients can log in through the client portal.
